Action Man

Action Man

 

He’s the toy aisle’s most masculine man
With crew-cut hair and gripping hands
Stomping around in military chic
But Action Man hasn’t got a prick!

I was taught when I was at school
And this was, of course, the golden rule
That we’re governed by biology
Double-X makes a girl and XY makes a he

Action Man doesn’t have chromosomes
Yet he’s the manliest man you’ll ever know
He’s Mr Macho, tough and strong
Even though he’s got no schlong

When it comes to that, Barbie too
Hasn’t got a . . . foo-foo
No “biological necessity”, no DNA
But she’s a successful woman, all the way

So what makes Action Man a man,
Because it’s clearly not what’s in his pants?
And what makes a woman?  We should pry.
There’s more to this than meets the eye.

Perhaps ‘man’ and ‘woman’ aren’t bodily features
Perhaps they’re behaviours our society teaches
And knob or flange doesn’t get to decide
How we ought to live our lives

We can learn so much from a plastic toy
About what’s expected of a girl or boy
But if you think it’s just biology, you’re clearly a bit thick
And Barbie says you can suck her dick!


August 2023

 

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