I Shared a Taxi With a Straight Man

 I Shared a Taxi with a Straight Man

Trams have finished, mate
Said the Straight Man
Which way you goin’, mate?
These girls have a taxi

Come on, save your money
Said the Straight Man
Girls in first then me, yeah?
So, where you goin’ mate?
Said the Straight Man

See you, girls
Said the Straight Man

I’d fucking give her one
Said the Straight Man
She’s a bit old but I’d still do her
What do you reckon, eh mate?  Your type?

Where’ve you been tonight, mate?
Said the Straight Man
Me, I’ve been playing pool, yeah?
Fuckin’ love pool
Won twenty quid, mate

Where’s this cunt going?
Said the Straight Man
He’s gone the wrong fucking way.  Costing us money
Fuckin’ hate these p*k* drivers
Said the Straight Man

My bird’s at home
Said the Straight Man
Hope she left me some pizza, the fat bitch
Yeah, I get off here, mate

Don’t rip me off you cheeky cunt
Said the Straight Man
Here, call it a tenner
See ya
Said the Straight Man

And I
Tried
Not to say
Anything.

 

September 2022

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