Coming Out?

Coming Out?

 

How do you come out to your mother?

When she’s eighty years old
When she’s been your mother for nearly sixty years
When her life is made of coach trips, doctors’ appointments
And the vicarious adventures of tiny grandchildren
When you still take off your nail varnish before visiting

How do you come out to your dad?

When he’s been dead for three years
And before that, dementia
And before that, angina, heart problems, Parkinson’s
And before that, there was never a time, or a place
Or an appropriate moment

How do you come out to your wife?

When you’ve been married for fifteen years
And together a decade longer
When you’ve shared the traumas of poverty, lost siblings and cancer diagnoses
When old friends can’t name one of you without thinking of the other.

How do you come out to your kids?

When you’ve been dad, and always dad, for thirty years
When you’ve fought to remain dad over ever-increasing distance and time
When you’ve never taken on a job that was more important.

How do you come out to all these people?

When they would look you in the eye
And smile, and say:
“Yeah, we know”

 

December 2023

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Phone

Phone (A trio of Triolets)   I wanted to tell you the lights had changed But you were staring down at your phone I wanted to tell you how much we’ve aged I wanted to tell you the lights had changed And how an oak tree’s leaves were arranged And how we are never, truly, alone I wanted to tell you the lights had changed But you were staring down at your phone When you were staring down at your phone What was it, that you had seen? Was it a place that felt like home When you were staring down at your phone? And was it better than standing alone Waiting for the lights to turn green? When you were staring down at your phone What was it, that you had seen? So, what was it that you had seen When I wanted to tell you the lights had changed? Did you learn with joy why leaves are green? What was it, that you had seen? And maybe you felt how connected we’d been And laughed inside at how much we’ve all aged What was it, that you had seen When I wanted to tell you the...
Read more

Start Again

Start Again I want to start it all again And not be reminded every day Of somebody who has died I want to wake up not remembering Who crocheted our blankets And why there’s a sheet under the sofa cushions I want to go shopping and recognise nobody And not remember whose milk I used to buy And who enjoyed cheap QC sherry I want to forget how to say ‘used to’ And ‘was’ and ‘did’, and instead remember ‘Will be’ and ‘is’ I want to discover new towns, climb hills And forget that I no longer need to remember Who might like to hear about them I want to cross bridges and turn corners That I’ve never turned before This time, unaccompanied by ghosts I want my tears to come by choice Like knick-knacks and gewgaws, locked in a box Opened only when I feel like it I want to fly into old age on wings of amnesia Caring only for what lies ahead Rusty chains broken around my skinny ankles I want to start again, and again, and again And not be reminded, every damnable day...
Read more

Grammys 2025

Grammys 2025 (a trio of triolets) We know you, Kanye West And your fragile, macho type Sticking out your chin and your chest We know you, Kanye West   Proud of your manipulating best Believing every word of your own hype We know you, Kanye West And your fragile, macho type We know you, Bianca Censori And the deadness behind your eyes We know you’ll be afraid of reaching forty We know you, Bianca Censori Desperate to hold on to security You’ll dive right into the gaslighting lies We know you, Bianca Censori And the deadness behind your eyes We know you, soulless Hollywood And your paparazzi prurience Holding only money as the highest good We know you, soulless Hollywood That nothing sells better than tits and blood Throwing artists on the fire at the very first chance We know you, soulless Hollywood And your paparazzi prurience   February 2025
Read more